What I wish I could go back and tell my 16-year-old self. What I’m now telling my 16-year-old daughter.
Be Your Own Best Friend Navigating life can be hard and even in a sea of people, can feel incredibly lonely. Taking the time to truly understand yourself, embracing who you are, and learning to love all that makes you unique, helps you build confidence, make better decisions, and grow relationships. Don’t be afraid to do things alone, listen to your gut, and please for the love of all that is good, be kind to yourself. The best decision I ever made was moving across the world alone and my gut continues to steer me in the right direction today.
Don't Take Your Health For Granted Your body is the only one you have - listen to what it’s trying to tell you and take care of it. Nurture your physical and mental health, eat nutritious food, and get plenty of rest. Self-care isn’t selfish; it's survival. Your body has a unique way of telling you what it needs (hello headache when dehydrated, cranky when tired, pain when injured…), and learning to hear what it's saying will help you before things get out of hand. I wish I had paid more attention before I hit burnout, or hadn’t ignored so much of my physical pain before finally seeing a spine doctor before I needed back surgery.
Boundaries Are Protection I could probably write a book on boundaries and how much I used to hate them and now how much I love them! They feel so hard to put into place, but they are there to help you not be taken advantage of, to give yourself breathing room, and to help you feel more in control of YOUR life. Saying "no" doesn't make you selfish; it preserves your energy for what truly matters. They define what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others. People who seem the most bothered by your boundaries are the ones who benefit the most from you not having any. I remember when I first started sticking to work hours and pricing. It annoyed some clients, but gosh, did I sleep better at night!
Be Smart With Your Money Have a budget and use it. Know where your money is going, save, invest, and be generous. If you end up or are a small business owner, price for profit, set aside for your taxes, and don’t play guessing games. Money tells a story - it’s all important information. Let it help you see where improvements need to be made and navigate your goals! Don’t be in the game for the love of money, but certainly let it help you build the life you would like and let it help you become more of a generous person.
Small Steps Really Do Add Up I used to roll my eyes at this and thought that if something didn’t happen overnight, I was a failure, or that it just wasn’t in the cards for me. But little by little is key. I’ve seen this be true in weight loss, debt repayment, and projects I never thought I’d finish. Erm, this blog post is proof! Don’t discount a little effort piled on top of another little effort. Google: compound interest. You’ll catch my drift!
Work From Rest I could link this back to No.2, but true rest is more than sleep. Taking time to truly be away and switch off (from work, emails, and to-do lists) and leaning into doing things for the simple joy (think hobbies) can help you feel equipped to walk into your next set of responsibilities. I always thought I would rest at the end of everything and would push rest off trying to do more, be more. But now I view resting as replenishing so I'm ready with the energy to get back to the doing. This has been a game-changer. I now try and rest on Sunday, to be prepared for work on Monday. The whole “week beginning on a Sunday” thing finally makes sense!
Small Wins Should Be Celebrated Too Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how minor they may seem. Each step forward really is a victory. I ignored the first time I was published in Martha Stewart - I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal, that I didn’t quite deserve it. So I let it go by, silent. Same for all the other amazing publications. Speaking engagements. Events. Projects. Accomplishments. If it felt like a step forward, I should have celebrated it and I never did. Now I want to and try to celebrate it all. I am proud of who I am, what I have had the opportunity to be a part of, and all that has been part of getting me to where I am today. Every little step. I hope you’ll see your little steps as joyful achievements too.
Perfection Is A Lie Looking back, as someone who chased perfection, the end goal was always out of reach. Just as I thought I was closing in, the trophy moved further out - more jewels were added, and more things needed to be done in order to achieve it. I now realize it was all a lie. Mistakes are growth opportunities and are not a reflection of failure. What is it they say? “Fail forward”? I’ve found that everything I once considered a failure in my past has taught me something and has in fact been an incredible part of my journey and a huge marker of growth. Don't believe the lie that you have to be perfect. There is no perfect.
Let Go Of What Others Think You Should Be Everyone will have their idea of you, made up from their own views, experiences, and perspectives of the world. They do not live your life or have your dreams and desires. So they don’t get to decide what you should be doing with YOUR life. This is especially true of your occupation. I lived my teens hearing that NO ONE earns a living as an artist. I entered the corporate world, trying to find my "acceptable self", and was miserable. I finally made my way back to art and now make a great living, feeling truly alive, but do sometimes wonder if I missed out on those early years. Embrace the person you are today, with all your interests, passions, and dreams. Accepting and loving yourself unconditionally is part of the key to inner peace. If there is a driving force within you, it’s there for a reason, maybe it’s worth chasing for a little while and seeing where it leads!
Your Passions Are Just That: YOURS This goes hand in hand with No.9, but growing up I saw so many people (and myself) get made fun of for their interests. I see it in adults too. Humans are beautiful and unique and if you are lucky enough to find something that brings you joy and ignites your soul, you should follow it. Antiquing on the weekend with a lavender latte in my hand, while wearing outfits most of my friends wouldn’t be seen dead in? Yeah, that’s me. Find your unique joys and don’t let anyone make you feel weird about them!
Set Realistic Expectations And Forgive Yourself If You Don't Meet Them I think it’s OK to make big audacious goals, but I also think it’s wise to break them down into realistic chunks that can be worked towards. So I say: set realistic expectations and be ready to adjust your expectations of yourself and others as life pivots and things change. We don’t always achieve everything the first go around, sometimes we don’t achieve things at all. (See No.8) It’s okay not to have everything figured out. Mistakes are part of being human. So forgive yourself and move forward with compassion if things don’t go as planned. Re-strategize and pivot.
No One Is Thinking About You As Much As You Think They Are Thinking About You I have to remind myself of this one all the time. It was a therapist who first told me this and then I read it in several books years later: Most people are focused on their own issues, their own thoughts, or their own appearance, to be thinking about you and yours. Or if they are thinking about you, it’s typically in relation to how they think about themselves. This one goes back to No.1 - love yourself and don’t stress so much about what others think about you.
Quality Over Quantity Applies To More Than Just Clothes You know what they say about investing in quality clothing: it doesn’t have to be designer - but learn what fabrics you like and the colors and styles you enjoy and build a closet of pieces that’ll last. I feel the same way about other things too: experiences, clients, projects, and more. Don’t cram your “closet” full of stuff you don’t really care about. Choose wisely and add things you’ll appreciate a few months/years from now, rather than just in the moment.
Making A Change Is OK A friend recently said to me in conversation that we live this one short life, so why wouldn’t we want to experience anything and everything we want to? It hit me with the biggest breath of fresh air! We can change our minds at any moment. Heck, we can change our entire lives. Heck, I moved across the world and changed everything. I couldn’t be happier. It’s OK to change your career path if it no longer aligns with your passions or values. It’s OK to leave a relationship. Don’t stay stuck in fear of change. YOU and your happiness matter.
Vulnerability Is Bravery And It's OK to Ask For Help Isolating yourself when you are struggling can make your situation feel so much worse. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance and support. Open up and share with the trusted people in your life, it’ll not only help you feel less alone but will also strengthen connections and help make you more resilient. Find your people and ask for help. It takes a village.
You Are Enough You, as you are, right now, are enough. Regardless of your achievements, whatever you consider your setbacks or failures, you are inherently worthy of love and respect. You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are absolutely 1000% enough.
So screw the haters, be who you are, and go after your dreams. This is your one precious life. Go out and live it.
The information and advice I provide in this blog and in my capacity as a coach, are based on personal experience, education, and general knowledge. It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner for personalized advice, diagnosis, or treatment related to any health concerns. My role as a coach is to offer guidance and support in areas such as lifestyle, motivation, and goal-setting, but it should not be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Chloe believes designing a beautiful life begins with heartfelt intention. Encouraging those around her to enjoy life like a fine art gallery, slowly, with emotion and purpose. Guiding away from overwhelm and into living and working from a place of rest.
Having spent the majority of her career as a bespoke wedding stationer, in a high-end and fast-paced industry, burnout struck in 2018 and almost led her to quit. Instead, she rested and did the deep work of understanding why women and creatives are more susceptible to the continual destruction of overwhelm.
Her mission is to eliminate the shame around creative suffering and bring joy back to our days. Offering 1:1 coaching sessions, tailored Clear Mind coaching programs, VIP days, and speaking engagement content, learn more about Chloe here.
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