Tea with Chloe has been on a slight hiatus lately. Honestly, I've just wanted to enjoy my summer and have as much fun with Emma as I could before she goes back to school next month. Plus, we have our spontaneous trip to Harry Potter World to prepare for!
I also wanted to spend a little time with my girl Shalese before she left Richmond! She has moved back to Orange, VA to be with her man, so we crammed all sorts of projects into two days. We shot some new headshots, worked on an ETP AD for something very cool, AND started on some new copy for my website. Shalese is a master of words, so she's going to turn my rambling, British slang, and spontaneous singing into an About page that truly speaks to me and my brand.
When Shalese suggested we hit some very Chloe spots in Richmond for my headshots, I was so excited. I paint these gorgeous landmarks all the time, so why not be photographed with them?!
This photo actually speaks to my very soul and all that is Chloe! And the best part is . . . we were walking away to head to lunch when Shalese said, "WAIT WAIT. Do what you just did again, when you were just walking and then you laughed?" I swear, there is something magical that happens when she and I are about to quit for the day!
As excited as I was for this shoot, and as much as I LOVE these photos, I couldn't stop worrying about what I would wear.
See, I'm not exactly a weight that I am proud of right now. But one thing I learned during this new shoot was that being a bigger size doesn't mean having to cover up. The romper I'm wearing may contain a size tag I'm not fond of, but I still feel sexy in it. I just want to tell anyone reading this that it is worth wearing what makes you happy.
And the thing is . . . I tried. I did Whole 30 (32, to be precise) with no cheating WHATsoever. No macarons, no Frappucinos, nothing. And I lost nothing. I felt no different. None of that magical energy you read about, no new lease on life. All I kept thinking, "OF COURSE this diet that works wonders for everyone else wouldn't work for me! I must have done something wrong -- there must be something wrong with me."
Long story short (and I'm being very vulnerable here!), I have some health issues that make it very hard to lose weight, yet I hold myself to the "eat well, exercise regularly, and lose 2-3lbs a week" standard. So what that means for me is "eat well, exercise 5-6 times a week, lose 1/8lb, and feel like a big fat failure." And I'm pretty sick of that.
I've been a size 4 and a size 6. In fact, I loved how I looked at a size 2. I dream of being back there. But I also didn't work full time, and I didn't have the responsibilities I have now. Now I'm not making excuses or saying I'm going to settle for the stressed out, slightly overworked and over-scheduled person I am now. I'm still working on balance (my 2017 word of the year) and working to fit back into that size 2 J.Crew dress I wore to a wedding 6 years ago, but I will no longer hate myself during the process of getting there. Life is far too short to loathe yourself for not looking like a Kardashian or a Hadid or whoever else is skinny or popular on Instagram!! You're beautiful where you are, and your body is a reflection of where your life has taken you. Love it, and it will love you back.
I'm on a journey, not at the finish line. I hope you'll keep following along the journey with me, large rompers and all.
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Thank you to Shalese Danielle for these new photos, I love them!